Not Your heritage, but OUR Heritage

I wrote a comment (well more of a rant), about the Confederate Flag on my Facebook page.   Some said it was well written, so I decided to add it to my blog.  It was in response to Ben Carson’s original statement and the flag and what it represents as a whole.   Here is my statement, with some corrections. 

I think that Ben Carson may have a brain tumor.  Well at least something is wrong with him.  He believes that there should be a discussion on whether the Confederate flag should fly in South Carolina, because of its Southern history.  We should find a way to coexist.  I find it funny that people don't realize that it has historical importance to both blacks and whites.  It is just that one group is standing up proud with the foot on the neck of the other group.  There are no proud memories for the group who lies between the foot and the ground.   What annoys me the most is that people who love this flag act like that they were going to separate from the Union without their slaves.  Or, they ignore the fact that slaves fought on the Confederate side, some willingly and many not.

It boggles me that when I hear defenders talk about the flag.   You hear the statements about “our heritage” or “our pride” meaning southern white heritage or pride.  I am always amazed that the defenders are capable of talking about the South or and the great soldiers and generals of the Confederate, yet, ignore blacks altogether.  Blacks did not fight on the Confederate side until near the end of the war.   But, you almost have to be an ignorant fool to believe that they were not there as slaves and they did not support the war effort on both sides. 

One of the most respected and revered Generals, (not just the Confederate) Robert E. Lee grew up on a plantation with slaves.   His parents may have run the plantation; however the actual maintenance was performed by slaves.  In the civil war, the soldiers were white, but running and maintaining a military takes a lot more than soldiers.  Someone has to grow and harvest the food that they eat.   Equipment and weapons had to be created and maintained.   Also, someone had to take care of the horses.   And, of course there was other manual labor that needed to be performed.  The majority of that work was performed by slave labor.  If the Confederate military had no food, no clothing and no equipment, the Union military would have won a lot faster. 

My point is that flag represents a lot more that people seem to claim.   It represents the United States of America’s Southern history both Caucasian and African American, equally.   As I said in my Facebook statement, the flag has “…historical importance to both blacks and whites.  It is just that one group is standing up proud with the foot on the neck of the other group.  There are no proud memories for the group who lies between the foot and the ground.”  And, they should equally have a say on whether or not it remains on State property or in a museum.   

In a way, it is kind of funny, the argument is often heard, “you have Black or African American history, why can’t we have ours?”   But, Black history was not created because we (Negros, Blacks, or African Americans) needed our own; it was created, because American historians pretended like we weren’t there.  We were just hanging out in the background, instead of the ones who helped build this nation and performed a large majority of the free labor.   The quote “My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right.” has and should have a profoundly different meaning for the ancestors of slaves.

Hey Baby, How you doing? What’s your name? Why aren’t you smiling? Come here and talk to me for a minute…

So, many people had comments on the woman walking in the streets of New York City for 10 hours being harassed by men  http://youtu.be/b1XGPvbWn0A .  I didn't watch it, and I didn't comment on it.  Not because it isn't anything new, or because it isn't wrong, I just didn't comment on it.  I thought that it was good that it was actually taped, because many people need to see what some women have to go through on a daily basis.  I did not live in New York City, but I did experience sexual harassment while walking and while working when I was a younger woman.  I didn't need to see something that I experienced.  I was uncomfortable with the fact that people attacked her, but I didn't say anything about that either, because these attacks and/or arguments are not new either.  There has always been an opposing side stating that really this is a compliment, or it is harmless, or the woman is dressing too provocatively, and etc... There have always been people who want to attack and deflect.  These arguments are more than just decades old, they are centuries old.  In fact, the idea of taping the harassment reminded me of an old Designing Women episode about construction workers. http://youtu.be/hxGRJElvEo0  

 However, this issue got under my skin when I read the article from the Daily Caller, “New York Times: Should Black And Hispanic Men Be Banned From Chatting Up White Feminist Women?”  http://news.yahoo.com/york-times-black-hispanic-men-banned-chatting-white-035140800.html So, now even this is a race issue, Wow!!  As a young African American woman, I got catcalled by men of all races.  Now, when I read this article, the New York Times discussion piece, “Do we need a law against catcalling?”  http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2014/10/31/do-we-need-a-law-against-catcalling , people are arguing that it is a race issue.  I am supposed to listen to this argument, and entertain in any credible way that this is a race, cultural and economic class issue and not a sex and power issue.   Wait, let me take one thing back, it is cultural thing, an American, Latino, Hispanic, European, Middle Eastern, African, and etc… cultural issue, but it has nothing to do with race.  It has always been a way to demean women.  The only reason the woman was harassed by more minorities in this video, was that more minorities were outside.  If she were in neighborhood where a lot of white men were working outside she would have experienced the same thing.  But, the saddest part about this is that many women know women know what I am saying is true because they have experienced it first had, but race has divided this country up so much recently, that they will ignore their past experiences, they will ignore fact and agree that this is a race issue or worse, just not say anything at all.  

Reunions???

Reunions are supposed to be exciting times.  People all over look forward to seeing and/reconnecting with old friends.  My high school reunion is coming up, and I was kind of happy about it.  I have not been fortunate to make my reunions, but when I see the notification in the mail, I always start planning and dreaming.  I was very idealistic growing up.  I had great hopes about my generation and where I would be right now.  Some changes did occur, and some didn't.  I am not even close to where I want to be, which troubles me, and my generation is not where I thought that it would be either.  I shouldn't be surprised, and I guess that I am not.  I am just disappointed.

When our current President was running for his first term, I was very skeptical.  I was skeptical about President Obama winning and I believed that his winning would result in a racist backlash.  I didn't have the opinion that a lot of men and women did, that the country would change.  I thought that there was a lot of forward thinking people, however, I didn't believe that people who had a backwards mindset would just go away or eventually die off.  Recent events have opened up a lot of old wounds that were already infected and brought them back up to the surface.  When Michael Brown was shot, I was talking to a relative, and I stated that I questioned the credibility and the attitudes of the Ferguson Police Department.   I wondered how the leadership could not be cognizant of the issues between African Americans and the Police department when there were only 3 police officers.  The relative thought that I was saying that I could not believe that this sort of thing would happen in the US and that I was surprised that African Americans men were treated brutally by law enforcement in the US.  When I asked why they thought that, I was told well you were always friendly with them growing up, and I thought that you were too idealistic, and were more sympathetic to the White cause.  Now this statement did surprise me.  My relative next told me,”...you always thought that I was racist, too, and I am not.  You know those people are huggers, and when some of them have approached me, I have hugged them. “   I made a smart remark, which I shouldn't have.  The smart remark caused more of an argument than if I had said the truth.   The truth was that I was disappointed.  My relative was from a past generation and had experience life before and after the Civil Rights Movement.  And they had witnessed various changes, yet in the end, it was still us and them.  I had nothing to say, because right now I am in a questionable situation financially.  I lost my job last year, and I pretty much lost everything.  Although I am working, I am pretty much starting over and one thing that I have relearned about being poor.  If you are in need and the person helping you isn't, they don’t mind showing you their ugly side.   And, who are you to say anything, you don’t have anything, you are in no position to be on the morally “right” side.  You are in no position to say, ”hey, do you hear yourself talking?”

I grew up in a mostly African American community.  It was transitioning, also known as "White Flight," African Americans were moving in and other nationalities were moving out.  However, when I was young, it was awesome, because there were all types of people and if you were a cute little, almost everyone was friendly.  Our neighborhood was African American/Chinese /Jewish/Hungarian and Italian.  Ok, we only had one Hungarian doctor, but he always had a big bowl of M&Ms on his coffee table.  So, he counts, a lot.  And, my grade school and high school were integrated.  So, I was friendly with whoever was friendly with me, and because I was around other cultures at home, I was not hesitant about being around other cultures at school.  I just looked at the situation as a greater potential for friends.  My mom used to say that things would be different when I grew up.  That I would live and work in the Black community and that my White friends would live and work in their communities, and that these attitudes that we have now as kids would change, so it would be better for me if I got used to it now.  I listened, but I also thought that my generation was going to be different.  It was going to be better; it was not going to accept behaviors and attitudes that were wrong.  But, today, I was reading a Facebook post about a church that was losing in Detroit, and they are probably going to destroy the building.  At least that was what my classmate hoped, because the community is mostly Islamic, and she would hate it if “they” used that building and converted it into a Mosque.  She would rather have the building destroyed.  This is not the first evidence of racism from others in my class or even from this person, but it made me sad.  My heart sank.  What was the famous quote, which Martin Luther King Jr. said?   "..it is appalling that the most segregated hour of Christian America is eleven o'clock on Sunday morning."  It is still true, maybe not in many churches or Mosques, but the infection is there in the old wounds of newer generations.   And, it will probably be passed on to their children.

Not knowing your Worth

"Not knowing your worth" was part of a quote from the movie The Joy Luck Club.  It is funny how people don't  always realize that some ideas or beliefs transcend a culture or race.  I used this title because not this is the stem of a lot of issues that are going on this country right now.  As the Michael Brown protests continue, people are are also supporting the police officer and Conservative shows are asking the question,  about Black on Black crime.  Why isn't anyone protesting about that.  What they fail to see is that protesting cop violence and racist treatment against black men and black on black are related.  They always have been.  Law enforcement has mirrored society, and American society has placed a lesser value on African Americans than.  And that value did not only stay in American society but it permeated the African American society as well.  And, that is how they are related if you continually teach a group that they have less value and they deserve less respect, they begin to believe it and they begin to treat themselves the same way.  This reality is nothing new, it has been stated in movies like The Color Purple, Roots, Hotel Rwanda, DJango, in music, and every type of art that you can think of and in almost any race or culture that you could name.  Yet whenever people start marching about law enforcement abuse, the argument is well what about Black on Black crime, as if they are separate.  Really it is like saying that we (African Americans) are different than everyone else.  But we aren't.  This rule applies to all.  If you don't know your worth and you don't value yourself, you are not going to value others that are like you.  It really is that simple.  Well, at least stating it is, but knowing it and living it can be a challenge every day.