How do they do it?

Well, I ride the bus to work every day to save money and of course I meet some interesting people.  One day, I met a guy on his way to the Capital. He had worked for there before as an Intern, and now he was returning to the Capital to apply for an Aide position.  I wished him luck.  Well, a few weeks later, I saw him on the bus again.  He had gotten the job.  We would chat as on the way to work from time to time when we saw each other.  Anyway, one day he I saw him as I was leaving my job.  He said hello and gave me a big hug.  Then, he asked me if he could borrow $100.  I know that I had a look of shock on my face, because I barely knew this man.  He barely knew me.  Yet, he had no problem asking me for $100.  I told him no, I didn't have it.  He said that he was asking because he had just gotten his apartment, his groceries and his bus pass for the month and he needed $100 to hold on to, just for other expenses.  I still didn't have the money. 

As I went home, I thought to myself, how he could just ask me.  I could never ask someone for money like that.  And I do need money for groceries and bus passes and other necessities.  Last year, when I lost my job and I had no source of income, I announced on Facebook that I lost my job, but I didn't ask anyone for money.  Also, I didn't tell anyone that I didn't have any source of income.  And, when I did ask some people for help, they were people that I knew and I had helped in the past or my relatives.  When I lost my apartment, I went to those same people.  In fact, I didn't tell many people that I lost my apartment.  I only told my family and a small group of friends.  And when I told a small group of friends on Facebook, one of my friends embarrassed me by stating publicly not to ask her for money.  I was already embarrassed and scared, but these were people that I had known but hadn't seen in years.  I was close to some of them, but not that close.  Stating what had happened to me was hard enough.  And, all the comment did was make me want to go hide under a rock.  Asking for money didn't even cross my mind, I was just devastated about my situation and I needed to tell someone.  Telling me not to ask for money just guaranteed that I wasn't telling any more people about my situation, much less asking for money, unless I had to do it.  I grew up hearing the song God Bless the Child, so not being able to take care of myself was humiliating.  I have usually been independent as an adult, and even though there have been a lot of victims of this bad economy, I still feel ashamed.  Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to feel no shame…