The Ride Home

Well, I decided to leave on New Year’s Eve.  I don’t know why I always find myself traveling on the road during this time.  It is actually a lousy time to travel.  Most places close early on the turnpike and there are very few people traveling on the road.  I picked New Year’s Eve because there was supposed to be a snowstorm coming and I wanted to try to beat the storm.  I left Albany at about 7 pm.  The trip from Albany to Detroit was about 644 miles if you did not cut through Canada.  And, I had to take that route, because I do not have a passport.  I had decided that I would drive through after work, but everyone made it seem like that was a horrible idea, so I drove as most of the distance on New Years Eve and I drove the remainder of the trip on New Years Day.  The good news was that one of the cities by Buffalo had fireworks at midnight, and so I got to see some as I drove past.  I made it past Buffalo and into Pennsylvania a little after 1:00 am.  I stopped because the visibility was beginning to get bad.  Also, the wind was blowing the snow and the road was beginning to

get slippery.  It is funny. I don’t feel tired when I am driving.  I only feel tired when I get out of the car.  I was back on the road about 5 am.  My car looked like a snowball.  All of my car doors were frozen except for the driver’s side.  As, I continued on the road, I looked for a restaurant that was open that served breakfast, or at least coffee.  Everything was closed until 8 am, because it was New Years day.  Some of the gas stations were even closed.  When I made it to Ohio, I called my mother and I let her know that I was almost there.  By then, my car no longer looked liked a snowball, but a salt lick.  There was salt everywhere, however, I don’t remember getting pummeled by a salt truck. 

I made it to Detroit by noon.  I was exhausted, but not sleepy, which was surprising because I only had about 3 hours of sleep.  We unpacked most of my stuff, and then ate a traditional New Year’s Day dinner.  I really need all of those New Year’s folklore to work for 2015.  Usually, I am excited when I start a new chapter in my life, but this time I am a little scared.  But, I am also hopeful.  

#home

#NewYearsEve

#NewYearsDay

#PennsylvaniaTurnpike

#OhioTurnpike

One Good Thing

During this Holiday weekend, I am reflecting about my life.  And, although I have been having a lot of financial issue, there are some things that I have to admit, that I hadn't.  First, I thought that living in my apartment, and climbing those 3 flights of stairs everyday would help my health.  If not immediately, eventually it would.  I believe that I was wrong.  I had hurt my knee and I think that I was re-injuring it, each time I climbed the stairs.  Since I moved to Albany, I don’t fall down as much.  Also, I don’t get dizzy as often when I walk.  Over the years, since I had cancer, I fall from time to time, especially when I would get tired, I would fall.  My legs would literally just give way.  Also, sometimes I would stand up too soon, become dizzy, and my body would just give out.  For the last couple of years, I was able to hide it, because it would only happen at home.  The hard part was the last few times that it had happened I had a hard time getting up.  Usually, I would start crying, because who wants to be a woman in her 40’s who loses her balance.  Also, I didn't want to be having to call an ambulance because I had fallen and had possibly broken something.  The sad part is that I fell at my job twice, once in 2012.  The first time people were there, and I fell out of my office chair and hit the ground.  I was so embarrassed.  I wanted to crawl under the desk and cry.  Of course, I didn't, but I could tell people were wondering what was wrong with me.  I said that I made a misstep.  But, that was not true.  Someone, escorted me to my car that afternoon, and I got some much needed rest.   I had been working 50 and 60 hour weeks, and I just could not do that like I had in the past.  The second time happened around the August when the air condition was broken in my apartment, and I was having trouble getting it fixed.  I came into work on a Saturday and I fell again.  This time I did cry, because I was by myself, and I had fallen again.  I felt weak and I was afraid that I would not be able to get up.  I was always afraid of being found in that position.  I still don’t know what was happening, but I have noticed that since I moved, I have not fallen.  Hopefully, this is a trend, and that part of my life is over for a long time. 

Being a Mercy Girl...

I was sitting at my desk reading my personal email on my cell phone, and I got a letter from the president.  And I thought… Ok, the Democratic Party is asking for money again.  But it was from the president of Mercy High School.  It discussed the recent events including a senior prank and the police having to be called over the cancellation of the Moving Up ceremony.  So, since I missed all of the brouhaha living here in Albany, I started reading the news articles and the various comments about what had happened.  I read both sides some stating that Administration overreacted, others stating, a prank of that magnitude had never happened before and the girls should have immediately come forward.  I read about the ceremony being a privilege.  Also, I read one young senior’s comment from another school who stated that she had friends who went to Mercy, and said that going to Mercy was all about tradition, and they shouldn’t have cancelled the event.  Her comment stuck with me the most, not because she was attacked online by alumni, that poor child, but because she as well as other friends didn’t understand why the punishment occurred or the real lessons that Mercy provides its young women.  Mercy has a lot of traditions, but Our Lady of Mercy is not about tradition, it never has been.  People were so busy arguing, that they missed the big picture, the lessons that Mercy provides you to sustain you for the rest of your life. 

The first lesson is Accountability.  This is a hard one, and here is why: if the seniors, felt like it was a rite of passage to conduct a senior prank, then they can’t have any issue saying, yes, I did this.  You shouldn’t have a problem with something that you did in the dark, coming into the light, because, you might not get away with your actions.  And, if you didn’t think the prank was that bad, then there should not be a problem owning up to it.  And that means, you should not wait to hear what the punishment will be before you come forward.  I know that this may sound absolutely nuts to many.  But, that has been one of the things that has separated Mercy girls from the rest.  Also, being accountable also means that you have the strength to stand your ground and the strength to take the consequences, whatever they may be.  It means that you are not afraid of having Conviction.  This is what has helped many Mercy girls become leaders, at home and in the society.

The other big lesson is that life isn’t fair.  I love my school but Mercy has never been utopia of fairness.  And, if you didn’t learn that after 4 years then you weren’t paying attention, because even if everything was wonderful and fair for you, it might not have been for the classmate sitting next to you or maybe the teacher standing in front of you.  We were protected from a lot of things, by going to a private school, but that was never one of them.  One of the advantages of going to Mercy was it was to prepare you for college and life and, neither are fair.   I am not saying that you are to accept injustice, you aren’t.  But I am saying that you have to pick and choose your battles.   A post phoned Moving Up ceremony is not enough to have the police called and to hit twitter, and etc… It just isn’t.  I can understand parents and students being annoyed, but everyone has experienced disappointment, and what purpose did all of these actions serve.   Did you think that a Moving Up ceremony was going to occur after the police showed up?  Better yet, were they going to stay through the Moving Up ceremony, would that be the school’s new legacy and tradition?  As alumni, I participated in most of the ceremonies and traditions at the school.  But, I also experienced disappointment, and things weren’t always fair.   And, sometimes my mother had to come to the school to complain, but no one had to call the police. 

Anyway, that is my two cents.

Cara Mia Massey

Our Lady of Mercy High School, ‘85