One Good Thing

During this Holiday weekend, I am reflecting about my life.  And, although I have been having a lot of financial issue, there are some things that I have to admit, that I hadn't.  First, I thought that living in my apartment, and climbing those 3 flights of stairs everyday would help my health.  If not immediately, eventually it would.  I believe that I was wrong.  I had hurt my knee and I think that I was re-injuring it, each time I climbed the stairs.  Since I moved to Albany, I don’t fall down as much.  Also, I don’t get dizzy as often when I walk.  Over the years, since I had cancer, I fall from time to time, especially when I would get tired, I would fall.  My legs would literally just give way.  Also, sometimes I would stand up too soon, become dizzy, and my body would just give out.  For the last couple of years, I was able to hide it, because it would only happen at home.  The hard part was the last few times that it had happened I had a hard time getting up.  Usually, I would start crying, because who wants to be a woman in her 40’s who loses her balance.  Also, I didn't want to be having to call an ambulance because I had fallen and had possibly broken something.  The sad part is that I fell at my job twice, once in 2012.  The first time people were there, and I fell out of my office chair and hit the ground.  I was so embarrassed.  I wanted to crawl under the desk and cry.  Of course, I didn't, but I could tell people were wondering what was wrong with me.  I said that I made a misstep.  But, that was not true.  Someone, escorted me to my car that afternoon, and I got some much needed rest.   I had been working 50 and 60 hour weeks, and I just could not do that like I had in the past.  The second time happened around the August when the air condition was broken in my apartment, and I was having trouble getting it fixed.  I came into work on a Saturday and I fell again.  This time I did cry, because I was by myself, and I had fallen again.  I felt weak and I was afraid that I would not be able to get up.  I was always afraid of being found in that position.  I still don’t know what was happening, but I have noticed that since I moved, I have not fallen.  Hopefully, this is a trend, and that part of my life is over for a long time.