What do you say a Parent? How do you get through the stress?

I had a lot of different thoughts about the Michael Brown story.  It is funny about what catches people’s eye and what doesn't. The sad part is that a lot of young black men have been killed by officers, or in Trayvon Martin’s case “authority figure” and their murderers were found not guilty, and the only people that took notice of what happened was the local family or the local community.   Today’s protesting of Michael Brown’s death was peaceful in Ferguson, and members of the local and international community took a sigh of relief.  I didn't agree with the violence that occurred, but, you have to wonder how much racism and pain can a community take?  

As a black woman, I have experienced racism, from police officers.  But, to truly understand what goes on when it comes to the type of racism that that occurs between young black men and the police, you have to be a black man or witness it.  When, I experienced racism from law enforcement, I usually left the scene feeling irritated and/or angry.   I understood that I was not treated fairly.  However, I had I experienced racism with law enforcement when I was with a guy I was seeing, I experienced additional feelings.  The first time, we were stopped by the police while we were on a date.   We were going to listen to a local coffee shop to hear some live music and get something to eat.  My date had not broken any laws, he was just stopped, and when he told the officer what we doing where we were going, the officer seemed to go out of his way to humiliate my date.  It was like that the officer was saying I am going to emasculate you in front of your date, and there is nothing you can do, but sit here and take it, because I am the authority and I am in control of this situation. And, that is how the date ended.  We went back home.   I felt embarrassed for my date, but there was nothing that I could say.  This is something that I had dealt with all of his life.  He was thankful, that it wasn't worse. 

 The second time was worse, we were in Maryland, and I was driving and I parked in front of a lake that I used to go to, while we ate McDonald’s, however, I didn't realize that the permission to park in that area was seasonal.  The police pulled up, but, I didn't get a ticket, he didn't even focus on me, he went over to the passenger side and he harassed my date, who wasn't even from Maryland, he was visiting from out of state.   When I asked the officer why was he talking to my date, when I am the one who made the error, and he was not even from the area, he told me to shut up.  I still remember hearing the officer asking where was he from and hearing him say “Ooh wee, you are from Detroit, what are you doing so far away from home?”  This time as a witness the whole experience left me shaken to the core.  Once again, I felt embarrassed for him, but this time, I felt fear.  I didn't feel like an American citizen, I felt like I had no rights and my life and the life of my date were at the mercy of this officer.   A few days later, I felt outraged and we got a lawyer, but the fear had to leave first.  Parents of young Black men, have to instruct their children how to behave in front of law enforcement, however, even if they behave in the “correct” manner, there is no guarantee that they will be treated in a respectful manner, or that they will be safe.  That is a lot of stress to deal with, as a parent and as a young black male, especially when you know that it can occur on any day that your son walks of his home.