Truth, Embarrassment... And No I Didn't Report

The second time that I was sexually assaulted.  I was 20.  My friend was turning 21 in the summer and were going to the bars around MSU and I was going to be the designated driver and make sure that he got safely to our friend’s apartment.  I had been around him when he was drinking before for 2+ years, nothing had ever happened.  As we were walking across campus to our friend’s apartment, he was stumbling, but he was coherent.  When we were walking side by side, the first thing that he did was grab me, reach in my cleavage and pinch my breast.  He laughed because he said that it was something that he had always wanted to do.  I decided that it would be best if I walked ahead of him and kept my distance.  However, a few minutes later he ran into me and knocked me on the ground.  I started yelling for him to get off me and I realized that my dress was going up.  I was wearing a long sundress.  I started yelling “What are you doing?” and I kept trying to push him off me.  During that time, he kept asking me “Why wasn’t I any fun?”  He got up and gave up.  He started mumbling, “I wasn’t any fun.” and “I was frigid.”  Anyway, we made to the apartment, I went to sleep on the couch, and he spent the rest of the night in the bathroom.  The next day, I was angry and he was hung over and claiming that he did not remember anything that happened that night.  I did not report it.  I did not tell my mother.  The first time I told her was a disaster, and I was not going through that again.  However, when we returned back I was angry.  When we returned to school in the fall, I decided to confront him.  His response was not “I am sorry.  I don’t know what happened.”  Instead, it was “You know you being a virgin was cute at first, but now it’s old.  What are you saving it for?”  I do not remember what I said after that.  However, I never knew that management of my body was cute or quaint.  I am a human being.  The arrogance of the statement did two things.  Besides shocking me, it let me know where I stood then and in the past.  Now, I knew the truth, I had spent time with someone who had never respected me as a human being.  The friendship that I thought we had was a lie and the trust was gone.  However, at least he was honest. 

The truth is the Republican Senate does not care if Brett Kavanaugh assaulted these women or not.  All of it is just an inconvenience to them.  Even in 2018, if true, these are just some women crying about juvenile indiscretions in the past.  In addition, the women are trying to ruin his life.  Their lives were never important.  They were not Privileged White Men and they were not up for a Supreme Court Judge position.  At least if you told the truth, we would truly know what we were fighting.  In addition, it would show that you have a spine. 

#WhyIDidntReport

#MeToo

What Next!

Check out @KeithOlbermann's Tweet: https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/799989259440680960?s=09

The fear of a Fear Administration

In President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s First Inaugural address he stated that “We have nothing to Fear but Fear itself!”  Years later, the politics of fear consume the US presidential election.  It seems that we have not learned a damn thing!  Fear hovers over this election like a large dark gloomy cloud.  One thing that I have learned is that if one Candidate embraces it, it just continues to grow and it cannot be ignored.  The commercials and the rallies for Trump often say that he is the only one who can save us and that the U. S. and the world is unraveling.  One commercial says that no one else stands between us and chaos but Donald Trump.  Really, he is the only one??  Is the world really going to hell and a hand basket?

Speaking of baskets, Trump has also brought baggage fear.  For example, the idea of Nationalists and the KKK re-entering in mainstream society.  Whether he wants to be or not, White Supremacists see him as their candidate.  This is becoming a real fear that has real questions that need to be answered.  This is only one set of fear baggage that comes with a Trump administration.  Will hate crimes be treated the same way they are under a Trump administration?  Granted, minorities aren’t happy with the way they are treated now, but it could be worse.  We could lose the progress that we have made.  There was a time that hate crimes occurred and there was no investigation or really any type of trial.  Medgar Evars was assassinated in 1963.  There were two hung jury trials in 1963 and 1964.  The actual trial did not occur until 1994.  The white supremacist Byron De La Beckwith lived as a free man until 1994.  It took 30 years for a murderer to be brought to justice, because he murdered a black man.  But, this was just one man; many people were never brought to justice.  Can our country go back to this treatment?  I used African Americans as an example, but I would be writing forever if I provided examples for every group that has had to fight for fair treatment.  Will more mothers experience pain similar to Mamie Carthan Till-Mobley.  This sounds extreme, but freedom in many ways is also like Pandora’s box, it is hard to restrict people after they have experienced it.  Emmit Till made an innocent mistake.  He didn’t understand the time and his environment and he paid for it with his life. We are asking Generation X and the Millennials to go back to the way things were.  Some Gen Xers remember, but they were kids, and the Millennials have no idea of what it was like.  They have only experienced that type of racism and freedom suppression in books and videos.

Many people threaten that there will be revolution if Hillary wins.  But, we need to be honest, a revolution has already started.  People are taking sides and the tension between both sides has started ending friendships.  Are families next?  Has it started?  We forget families fought against each other in the civil war.  And if Trump loses, what will this revolution be about?  A recount?  An immediate installation of ruler Trump?  An end to Democracy?  What??!!  

Many people on the other side threaten to leave the country if Trump wins.  But let’s be honest, will we really all leave?  Or, will there still be a revolution.  If so, will we be fighting for? 

There is fear on both sides.  And I am afraid of the fear.  And even though Trump opened this Pandora’s box, he nor Hillary can close it.  It is too big.  The only ones who have the strength to close it are the American people.  But, will they be too afraid to do so.

1% and the Sadness of it All

Well, we now have over 80+ days left in our ground breaking United States election.   Why is it ground breaking, well our choices will show the world who we are as a country.  There are too many issues on both sides to count with this election, so I will narrow it down to one part of one issue with one candidate:  Racism against Americans with an African heritage (aka: African-Americans or Blacks). 

The Republican candidate for president has been accused of being racist towards African American repeatedly.  The accusation recently occurred after he gave a speech that was specifically aimed towards African Americans.  Pundits, Journalists and people in general have repeatedly stated this, but before we accuse someone who is applying for the highest office.  We should take a serious look at why this has been said.  So, I decided to create a timeline. 

70’s

The first documented account of racism for this candidate occurred in the early 70’s.  Trump Management Corporation was sued by the Justice Department twice (1973 and 1978), for not renting to black people.

80’s

There was almost no public record of Trump being racist towards blacks in the 80’s, until 1989 with the Central Park Five.  In the Central Park Five case five young black men were wrongfully convicted of raping a white female jogger in Central Park.  Before any of the youth were tried…

(Trump) He paid a reported $85,000 to take out advertising space in four of the city’s newspapers, including the New York Times. Under the headline “Bring Back The Death Penalty. Bring Back The Police!” and above his signature, Trump wrote: “I want to hate these muggers and murderers. They should be forced to suffer and, when they kill, they should be executed for their crimes. They must serve as examples so that others will think long and hard before committing a crime or an act of violence.”

Note:  In 2002, the actual rapist, who was already in prison, came forward.  It was proven that he alone had raped the jogger.   The Central Park Five were freed and later received a civil suit settlement for 41 million.   Trump responded in an opinion piece for the New York Daily News.   “In an opinion piece for the New York Daily News, he described the case as the “heist of the century”.

“Settling doesn’t mean innocence, but it indicates incompetence on several levels,” Trump wrote, alluding to how police and prosecutors initially involved in the case have long maintained the five boys were involved in the rape, even after the convictions were thrown out.

90’s

Trump disparaged his black casino employees as “lazy” in vividly bigoted terms, according to a 1991 book by John O’Donnell, a former president of Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino.

“And isn’t it funny. I’ve got black accountants at Trump Castle and Trump Plaza. Black guys counting my money! I hate it,” O’Donnell recalled Trump saying. “The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.”

“I think the guy is lazy,” Trump said of a black employee, according to O’Donnell. “And it’s probably not his fault because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.”

 In 1992, “The New Jersey Casino Control Commission fined the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino $200,000 in 1992 because managers would remove African-American card dealers at the request of a certain big-spending gambler. A state appeals court upheld the fine.”

In 1996, Trump has also faced charges of reneging on commitments to hire black people. In 1996, 20 African Americans in Indiana sued Trump for failing to honor a promise to hire mostly minority workers for a riverboat casino on Lake Michigan.

2000+

In the early 2000’s Trump took a break.  However, his public display of racism was apparent again after the nomination of our current President Barack Obama.  Here were his comments regarding our current president…

Trump: Obama a "Terrible Student" Not Good Enough for Harvard"   Manhattan real estate mogul Donald Trump suggested in an interview Monday that President Barack Obama had been a poor student who did not deserve to be admitted to the Ivy League universities he attended.Trump, who is mulling a bid for the Republican presidential nomination, offered no proof for his claim but said he would continue to press the matter as he has the legitimacy of the president's birth certificate."I heard he was a terrible student, terrible. How does a bad student go to Columbia and then to Harvard?" Trump said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I'm thinking about it, I'm certainly looking into it. Let him show his records."Obama graduated from Columbia University in New York in 1983 with a degree in political science after transferring from Occidental College in California. He went on to Harvard Law School, where he graduated Magna Cum Laude 1991 and was the first black president of the Harvard Law Review.

Next, Trump joined the birther movement.  An article in The New York Times suggests that he took advantage of other’s perceptions of the idea of having an African American president.

In the birther movement, Mr. Trump recognized an opportunity to connect with the electorate over an issue many considered taboo: the discomfort, in some quarters of American society, with the election of the nation’s first black president. He harnessed it for political gain, beginning his connection with the largely white Republican base that, in his 2016 campaign, helped clinch his party’s nomination.

However, based on Trump's past actions, I honestly believe that he was uncomfortable as well.  I don’t think he took advantage of it for political gain, I think that he actually felt this way. 

This brings us to the present.  Here is a more recent comment from Trump on racism and the current racially-motivated violence.

There’s no such thing as racism anymore.  We’ve had a black president so it’s not a question anymore.  Are they saying black lives should matter more than White lives or Asian lives? If Black lives matter, then go back to Africa?  We’ll see how much they matter there.

The going back to Africa has been a common response to African Americans in regards to racism for decades before, during and after the Civil Rights movement. 

Based on this history, mostly in his own words, it is easy to explain why many people became upset when at a June Rally, Trump said "Oh, look at my African-American over here. Look at him," "Are you the greatest?”  They were upset because there is a pattern.  It is a pattern for him that reaches back to the early 70’s and if you look at his father’s past, you will find that it had to be something that he was raised with.  The Trump family’s treatment of Blacks was even written in the lyrics of a Willie Guthrie song.  

This pattern continues and it isn’t going to stop.  This week Trump addressed African Americans at a rally in West Bend, Wisconsin.  The topic was the current violence in Milwaukee that has occurred due to another shooting of an African American.  This man stood in a predominately White community (94.8% White and 1% African American), with a predominantly White audience and asked African Americans to trust him, because we have been taken advantage of by the Democratic Nominee and the Democratic Party.   It is funny, African Americans are expected to take his word now, and ignore all of the other his other words and actions in previous decades.   Based on his speech, I have come to the conclusion that Trump must think that African Americans are too dumb to be aware of his actions and his past.  Or, believe that his actions matter.  Maybe, that is truly the final insult. 

Trump does have people and friends who have stated publicly that he is not a racist.   However, these people fall into two categories… they are either White, or if they are Black they are on the (Trump/RNC) payroll.   I haven't seen anyone else.  

Reviewing this timeline I have created, has caused me to ask a few questions.   

1. What is the 1% of African Americans who do support him thinking?
2.  When does he have time to be racist and discriminate against others (Mexicans, Women, Muslims, Disabled, etc.)? 
3. Why do people even bother to argue that he is not racist? 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-racist-examples_us_56d47177e4b03260bf777e83

http://www.celebtricity.com/donald-trump-if-black-lives-dont-matter-then-go-back-to-africa/

http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/03/politics/donald-trump-african-american/

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/03/us/politics/donald-trump-birther-obama.html

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Trump-Obama-Wasnt-Good-Enough-to-Get-into-Ivy-Schools-120657869.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/West_Bend%2C_Wisconsin

#Trumpisaracist

#Trump_BlackLiesMatter

#Trump_GoBacktoAfrica

Thank You

Whoever is reading my posts.  Thank you.  I have been working and taking care of my mom, so I have not had time to write.    I have a lot of new stories, so I will be back.

The Woman Card

I have been busy, but I would like to thank Donald Trump for mentioning the Woman Card.   I would like to start using my immediately.  First, since I get paid 21% less.  I want a 21% discount on... everything.  Well, except feminine products and makeup, I want a 41% discount on those items.   Also, when it comes to being angry or upset the card should become a hormonal pass.  During these times, I need to be accommodated and receive whatever I want without question.  Also, because my mother was born a woman and was unable to pull her woman card, I believe that she should get back pay for all the discounts she missed.  Also, because I have deceased grandparents and great grandparents who were also born female, I think that there should be reparations.  I don't believe that I am the only female around, therefore I would appreciate any suggestions for additional Woman card benefits.  Ladies, just as Trump has admitted to taking advantage of laws that were not fair or right.  I think that it would be a bad business move to ignore this card or its advantage.

The Genius of Trump???

I stopped complaining about Donald J. Trump.  Well at least as much as I could, and I took a step back.  Then I realized...

Trump isn't as dumb as he seems, and here's why. First, there are his impromptu phone interviews.  The way he conducted them always bothered me   He always calls in.  It always freakin' annoyed me.  Why didn't he show up like everyone else?  I pictured him sitting at his desk, just calling in.  His tweets and his debate strategy annoyed me too, but it wasn't because he was winning, it just struck me funny.  But, I couldn't figure out why.  Then, there are his Political Rallies and the divisiveness.   It never made any sense, and then it came to me... Trump is running his campaign like a business.  And he communicates, debates and competes in the same manner.  He is hard to debate because he approaches the podium like he already has the job.  Or, at least one like it. His opponents are trying to get to his status.  Also, in the debates, he approaches the podium like everyone else is beneath him.  Because to him, running a company is like being President of the United States and he has been doing that for years.  Knowing Trump, he has been running our country in his mind for a long time.  The funny part is, people believe him, even though it isn't true.  His company and brand are successful, but running his type company is not the same as running GE or General Motors.   He is a Real Estate Magnate.  He has mostly negotiated deals related to property, not people.   Even his international experience is has been mostly related to Real Estate.  And it shows, especially when it comes to diplomacy.  He doesn't understand what it is.  He views lack of diplomacy as not having political correct skills, but it is closer to lack of people skills.

Trump's campaign and debate strategy was brilliant.  There is an old saying, "Businessmen have no stomach for politics."  I did not expect Trump to be this successful.  I thought that Jeb Bush and the other Republicans were going to chew him up and spit him out.   And, Trump would not have been able to beat the other Republicans playing the political game.  So, Trump changed the game to something he knew, and no one else knew his rules or his court.  Therefore, he had home court advantage at each debate.  He did have trouble keeping that advantage with Fox News.  And since he couldn't control them, he refused to attend.  He also did the same thing with the call in interviews and the Tweets.  By calling in, he controlled the conversation and he dictated the rules.  He was and is almost always in control.  This is why he is winning.  This is another business tactic.

Then, there's the divisiveness.... Well, many companies have used that to get the best out of their employees.  Companies like IBM used to pit departments/teams against each other and it worked well until it didn't.  Theoretically, you could use a race as department/teams.  The only difference is that you are using a business tactic to create a dangerous social experiment.  And it is an experiment that can ignite and turn into something very dangerous not only in the White House but it could affect our national and international policy.

There is one other thing about Trump that he knows makes him appealing to a good portion of the United States.  He looks like many of his constituents.  Yes, I am saying he is White, not just the complexion, but good ole' White Anglo Saxon Protestant.  And, some are voting for him for that reason alone.  He can do no wrong, because he looks like us.

And, there you have it, the success of Trump in a nutshell. It is based on changing the political game to suit him and genetics. 

God help us all.

#DonaldJTrump

#LCD_LowestCommonDonald

#DJT_AmericanEmbarrasment

#DonaldDrumpf

#TrumpRallies

#TrumpRiots

#DonaldtheJackass

Not Your heritage, but OUR Heritage

I wrote a comment (well more of a rant), about the Confederate Flag on my Facebook page.   Some said it was well written, so I decided to add it to my blog.  It was in response to Ben Carson’s original statement and the flag and what it represents as a whole.   Here is my statement, with some corrections. 

I think that Ben Carson may have a brain tumor.  Well at least something is wrong with him.  He believes that there should be a discussion on whether the Confederate flag should fly in South Carolina, because of its Southern history.  We should find a way to coexist.  I find it funny that people don't realize that it has historical importance to both blacks and whites.  It is just that one group is standing up proud with the foot on the neck of the other group.  There are no proud memories for the group who lies between the foot and the ground.   What annoys me the most is that people who love this flag act like that they were going to separate from the Union without their slaves.  Or, they ignore the fact that slaves fought on the Confederate side, some willingly and many not.

It boggles me that when I hear defenders talk about the flag.   You hear the statements about “our heritage” or “our pride” meaning southern white heritage or pride.  I am always amazed that the defenders are capable of talking about the South or and the great soldiers and generals of the Confederate, yet, ignore blacks altogether.  Blacks did not fight on the Confederate side until near the end of the war.   But, you almost have to be an ignorant fool to believe that they were not there as slaves and they did not support the war effort on both sides. 

One of the most respected and revered Generals, (not just the Confederate) Robert E. Lee grew up on a plantation with slaves.   His parents may have run the plantation; however the actual maintenance was performed by slaves.  In the civil war, the soldiers were white, but running and maintaining a military takes a lot more than soldiers.  Someone has to grow and harvest the food that they eat.   Equipment and weapons had to be created and maintained.   Also, someone had to take care of the horses.   And, of course there was other manual labor that needed to be performed.  The majority of that work was performed by slave labor.  If the Confederate military had no food, no clothing and no equipment, the Union military would have won a lot faster. 

My point is that flag represents a lot more that people seem to claim.   It represents the United States of America’s Southern history both Caucasian and African American, equally.   As I said in my Facebook statement, the flag has “…historical importance to both blacks and whites.  It is just that one group is standing up proud with the foot on the neck of the other group.  There are no proud memories for the group who lies between the foot and the ground.”  And, they should equally have a say on whether or not it remains on State property or in a museum.   

In a way, it is kind of funny, the argument is often heard, “you have Black or African American history, why can’t we have ours?”   But, Black history was not created because we (Negros, Blacks, or African Americans) needed our own; it was created, because American historians pretended like we weren’t there.  We were just hanging out in the background, instead of the ones who helped build this nation and performed a large majority of the free labor.   The quote “My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right.” has and should have a profoundly different meaning for the ancestors of slaves.

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts….

Last night when I went to bed, my mother made an uncomfortable statement about the dream she had had the previous night.  She dreamed that she was in the classroom, and she was trying unsuccessfully to get control of her class.  My mother did not always have trouble getting control of her class, but in her last years, just before she retired, she did, and she did not always have support of her administration and the staff.  Upon reflection, she said that her life would have been easier, if she had been like some of her other co-workers and taught just the basic math in her classroom and not tried to teach the actual subject.  If she had done that, all of her students would have passed her classes, they would have gotten along with her, because she would have been an easy ”A” teacher, and the administration would have liked her because all of her students would have passed her classes.  There would have been no frustration between her and other teachers, who did not teach.  Her life would have been so much easier, there would have been less stress and my childhood would have been easier too.  But, I couldn't support her statement.

My mother was right, her life would have been easier, but I reminded her that she thought that her students should get a good education.  My mother taught 43 years in Detroit Public Schools.  And she believed that her students deserved to get a quality education.  She believed, that they should be able to graduate from high school and be prepared to compete with any other high school graduate in Michigan, whether that was at the university level or in the work force.  These were great ideals, but they came with a price.  Sometimes there were issues with other teachers, because their students did not have the skills needed for my mother’s classes, even though they had taken the prerequisite.  And, my mother would be left with the choice of either helping the students get up to speed or failing them.  Students who were used to skating by in their classes were not able to skate through my mother’s class if they did not do the work.  Some students would take time to learn, others would drop her classes, and however some students were had other issues and they were angry and confrontational.  Most confrontations were verbal, however some were physical, and those were the scary ones, usually because, my mother did not have the support of the administration within her school when they occurred.  I can recall three separate incidences when my mother was assaulted at work.  I won’t go into details of those incidences but my mother’s career produced a lot of stress.  The last few years were especially stressful, because there was a lot of upheaval and politics that occurred regarding Detroit Public Schools.  But, I think what probably hurt most was the way that she was treated when she retired.  There was no nice send off, instead she was asked to pay for her own retirement dinner.  Unfortunately, I was still living in Maryland and I was unable to provide her a nice retirement celebration and I always regretted that…

In the end, doing the right thing or having strong beliefs doesn't guarantee a happy ending like it does in the movies.  I think that my mother would have had an easier career if she had played the game, but I think that not doing the right thing would have bothered her.  I think that in the end, it is about being able to lay your head down with a clear conscience and knowing that you have done the best you can.  And, that is all, nothing else is guaranteed.    

That is not Stir-Fry??!!

I have been working to get settled in at home, and it has been difficult to work on my blogs since I have so much to do, including looking for a job.  On Wednesday, I had the pleasure of taking a break and having lunch with some old friends that I have not seen in years.  However, I didn't really feel like going shopping and cooking dinner afterwards, however, I had too. You see, the face in the corner was what I had faced the night before.  When I lived at home and sometimes when my mother would visit me, I would fix Stir-fry.  And she likes it a lot, but she loves it when I fix it.  Well, Tuesday evening, she went to the store and she said that she was going to purchase the ingredients for Stir-fry.  When she came home, I should have known that something was wrong.  She said that what she bought just needed to be cooked, but it was a lot more expensive than what she remembered.  Also, she told me that I could just add more peppers and onions to stretch it.  I said  When I lived at home and sometimes when my mother would visit me, I would fix Stir-fry.  And she likes it a lot, but she loves it when I fix it.  Well, Tuesday evening, she went to the store and she said that she was going to purchase the ingredients for Stir-fry.  When she came home, I should have known that something was wrong.  She said that what she bought just needed to be cooked, but it was a lot more expensive than what she remembered.  Also, she told me that I could just add more peppers and onions to stretch it.    I said OKd , but you can add mo e than peppers and onions to a stir-fry.  When I went into the kitchen, I started looking in the freezer for the frozen vegetables and meet, but they were in the refrigerator in one container.  I read the container, and I looked up and said, “Mom, you bought Chicken fajitas.  That was why it is so expensive.”  She shrugged her shoulders and asked if we could still have it over brown rice.  I told her sure.  Well, as you know, Chicken Fajitas is not Chicken Stir-fry, so when she fixed her plate, a very small plate, she picked around her food, pouted and ate.  Later she came back and fixed a salmon burger because she was still hungry.  It was not my fault, but I still felt bad.  So, after my Wednesday lunch, I went to Kroger’s.    When I went into the kitchen, I started looking in the freezer for the frozen vegetables and meet, but they were in the refrigerator in one container.  I read the container, and I looked up and said, “Mom, you bought Chicken fajitas.  That was why it is so expensive.”  She shrugged her shoulders and asked if we could still have it over brown rice.  I told her sure.  Well, as you know, Chicken Fajitas is not Chicken Stir-fry, so when she fixed her plate, a very small plate, she picked around her food, pouted and ate.  Later she came back and fixed a salmon burger because she was still hungry.  It was not my fault, but I still felt bad.  So, after my Wednesday lunch, I went to Kroger’s. 

Kroger’s has a new organic/natural brand called Simple Truth; well at least it is new to me.  There are no Kroger’s in Albany.  I got lucky because I was able to use my eCoupon to purchase fresh cut Stir-fry vegetable and fully cooked Fajita steak strips.  I decided to get the Fajita steak strips for two reasons, the first was because we have been eating a lot of chicken, the second because I always season my meat when I stir-fry.  The meat was just going to have an Asian-Mexican fusion thing going on.  This made preparing stir-fry much easier, I did not feel like doing all of that chopping.  So, Wednesday night, my mother had the Beef stir fry which she said was great.  I don’t know how it tasted, I ate my leftovers that night for dinner, and she ate the rest of the stir-fry for lunch the next day.  But, I was happy that I did not have to look at that sad face at dinner time.  

#Kroger

#fusion

The Ride Home

Well, I decided to leave on New Year’s Eve.  I don’t know why I always find myself traveling on the road during this time.  It is actually a lousy time to travel.  Most places close early on the turnpike and there are very few people traveling on the road.  I picked New Year’s Eve because there was supposed to be a snowstorm coming and I wanted to try to beat the storm.  I left Albany at about 7 pm.  The trip from Albany to Detroit was about 644 miles if you did not cut through Canada.  And, I had to take that route, because I do not have a passport.  I had decided that I would drive through after work, but everyone made it seem like that was a horrible idea, so I drove as most of the distance on New Years Eve and I drove the remainder of the trip on New Years Day.  The good news was that one of the cities by Buffalo had fireworks at midnight, and so I got to see some as I drove past.  I made it past Buffalo and into Pennsylvania a little after 1:00 am.  I stopped because the visibility was beginning to get bad.  Also, the wind was blowing the snow and the road was beginning to

get slippery.  It is funny. I don’t feel tired when I am driving.  I only feel tired when I get out of the car.  I was back on the road about 5 am.  My car looked like a snowball.  All of my car doors were frozen except for the driver’s side.  As, I continued on the road, I looked for a restaurant that was open that served breakfast, or at least coffee.  Everything was closed until 8 am, because it was New Years day.  Some of the gas stations were even closed.  When I made it to Ohio, I called my mother and I let her know that I was almost there.  By then, my car no longer looked liked a snowball, but a salt lick.  There was salt everywhere, however, I don’t remember getting pummeled by a salt truck. 

I made it to Detroit by noon.  I was exhausted, but not sleepy, which was surprising because I only had about 3 hours of sleep.  We unpacked most of my stuff, and then ate a traditional New Year’s Day dinner.  I really need all of those New Year’s folklore to work for 2015.  Usually, I am excited when I start a new chapter in my life, but this time I am a little scared.  But, I am also hopeful.  

#home

#NewYearsEve

#NewYearsDay

#PennsylvaniaTurnpike

#OhioTurnpike

It is all about Priorities

Me and Mom

So, at the beginning of December, I was talking to my mother and she was telling that she was not feeling well.  She described her symptoms and I suggested that she go see a doctor.  She told me that she had already scheduled an appointment and the doctor was going scrape some cells and send them out for testing.  I said OK and then I went to bed.  I woke up in the middle of the night and I realized that my mother just told me that she was taking a biopsy.  Could my mother have cancer?  No, that couldn't happen.  I have been through a lot this year; I could not now face the idea that my mother may have Uterine Cancer. That would just be too much.  Then, I thought, this isn't about me, or what I could bear.  This was about my mother.  But, still, all I could think about was me.  That morning, I got up and I started thinking about what my resignation letter was going to look like, when I emailed it.  My logical side kicked in and it told me that my mother was not well and whether she had cancer or not, something was wrong and she didn't need to be by herself.  However, for the rest of the day, all I could think about was what I would do if she had cancer.  I never completely recovered from my bout with cancer.  The chemotherapy drugs had long term affects that I am still trying to recover from.  I have trouble taking care of myself, how I will take care of my mother?  My finances are in a complete shambles and I am in a different state at a dead end job.  What if I lose my mother?  What am I going to do?  I can’t lose my mother too.  I think that would be too much to bear.  Even though they say that God doesn't give us any more than we can handle.  I was terrified.  Must I be that strong?  Could I be strong for her and for me if I had to?  I don’t think that I could. 

My Grandmother - Sweetiepie

A few days before my grandmother passed, my mother got an eerie feeling while she was driving, and she said out loud, “God, you aren't about to take my mother away from me, are you?”  And immediately after she said that she ran into our garage door.  I actually thought about that when I went to get my mail that afternoon.  Am I going to get into an accident, while driving to the Post Office?  Am I going to find out my mother is ill or worse?  I sat in my car and cried.  I was scared to start the car.  I cried for three reasons, the first was being scared that I might lose my mother.  I cried because I was confused.  The third reason was for being more like my mother than I thought I was, she hadn't even taken the test or been diagnosed with cancer, and I was almost petrified.  The tests were not even going to occur until the middle of December.  If I was crying on the 2^nd, how was I going to make it to the 20^th?  My mother has been always able to turn worrying to an art form.  In the end, am I turning into my mother?

Home

After, I cried, I took a deep breath, all of my other personal issues fell to wayside.  I went to my room and drafted my resignation which I sent it the following evening.  My company was not happy with me, even though I told them why I was resigning.  In fact, they were not speaking to me.  My reaction had been, that’s too bad, screw them.  I decided that the most important thing that I could do was to be with my mother, no matter what the outcome was, after all, that was what families were for and my mother needed me.  And, I needed her.  I decided that I had to go home.

#worry

#cancer
#cancersucks

Well, apparently, there is plenty to say...

I have never been so let down by people and the media when it comes to the way they have covered the shooting of these police officers.  I thought that I had nothing to say, but I was wrong.  The amount of agenda seeking idiots paraded around on television has been depressing and mind boggling at the same time.  The man who shot the police officers had a long criminal record and a problem with mental illness, yet politicians and media people are asking if the protesting brought on this attack.  Some are trying to state that the protests are encouraging “open season” on police officers.  The man shot his girlfriend first and she was not a police officer.  The man was crazy, and the sad part is that very few are asking how did he get a gun and that should be the real question.  Everyone does not hate all police officers.  Protesters do not hate all police officers.  However, we all hate people who are abusive or commit murders and hide behind a shield.  That is the behavior that puts people in danger.  And, if we are truly honest with ourselves (police included), it was the actions of those officers, not the protesters that contributed to this tragedy. The protesters were not outside because they have nothing else to do, they are outside because they witnessed behavior that was unjust, one too many times, and protesting is a form of drawing attention to an issue to ignite change.  They are trying to ignite change not violence toward police officers.

I am attacking the media, because I listened to a reporter on CNN argue, how the shooter could be crazy, he planned the execution.  Crazy people are capable of logic and figuring out plans.  I am not doctor, but I am sure of this, and so is everyone else.  And, anything can trigger a violent episode.  We just observed an anniversary of a young man who had mental illness execute his mother and then small children at a school.  Who knows what triggered that violent episode.  I worked with a technician years ago who suffered from mental illness, I never knew it because he was quiet.  In fact, except for Human Resources, no one else knew he had problems either.  He came in and did his work and resolved issues on a daily basis, until one Monday he did not come into work.  He had a therapy session with his Doctor on a Saturday and apparently he brought his father’s gun in with him, the Doctor tried to take it away from him, he shot the Doctor and then himself. 

I am also attacking the media, because they keep hyping up this whole Protesters vs. Police issue.  This is not the real issue.  The false issue that the media is providing is inaccurate, irresponsible, unfair and blatantly dangerous.

#cnn

#yellowjournalism

#dontbelievethehype

What can I say?

Two officers were shot execution style while working.  This is the United States of America; no one should be shot execution style.  We have courts, we have due process, and we have civil disobedience.  We have all of these options to share our opinions and change the world.  Yet, there is always someone, who is either crazy or just and asshole who brings it down to the level of a gun or physical violence.  This division in the country is wrong, it is cruel, and it is heartbreaking.  What I have noticed is that each side seems to dehumanize each other.  We are all human beings, we are all someone’s children, parents, friends, loved ones, whether we wear a shield or not.  All I can really say is “What the hell??!!” 

People need to realize that the problem that we have is not an “Us vs. Them” issue.  This is an “Us vs. Ignorance and Violence” issue.  As a law abiding citizen, I don’t want to be afraid of the police.  I don’t want boys and men of color to be afraid of the police.  And, I don’t want the police to be afraid of us.  A police officer’s job is already dangerous by definition.  Every day a police officer leaves home, they are risking their life.  And having a career that has that type of danger is enough.  If we ever want to get pass this devastating mess, then we have to accept and address the real issues.

#ignorance

#peace

#violence

#USA

Integrity

Integrity is defined as ‘the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. "he is known to be a man of integrity."

I have always had a problem with the way this word has always been treated, for some reason, even though English doesn't have masculine and feminine nouns, this word has always been attached to masculinity.  Even the example states, “he is known to be a man of integrity.”  Women, have Integrity as well, should be the usual response, but it isn't.  Sometimes I think that when women are referred to as the “weaker sex”, people don’t only mean physically and emotionally, but morally as well.  This has bothered me for a long, long time. 

For example, when I was in my 20’s I moved back home to Detroit to finish school at Wayne State University, I was dating a guy who lived in Detroit and who would visit me at Michigan State on the weekends.  Our relationship was going along great until I moved back home to Detroit.  After I moved home, he stood me up for a date.  That had never happened before, and now it was happening while I was living at home, where my family could see it.  I couldn't understand why this was happening.  Later on, he explained to me that he thought I had decided to move back home so that I could force him to marry me.  After all, he made $30,000 and he had his own house.  First, I didn't know that I could be bought for so little.  Of course, our relationship ended after that.  However, his logic didn't make any sense, we weren't at the "let’s get married" stage of the relationship, so marriage was the furthest thing away from my mind.  But over the years, I often heard from men and women, “well you know you women will do that.”  My grandmother was the only person who responded to the situation appropriately, she busted out laughing. (In fact, she laughed at the situation long and hard.)  Sometimes, it seems as if, women cannot be individuals that have integrity.  For some reason, society takes the attitude that feminine principles can’t stand upright, they must bend or break at any time for the right man and the right amount of money.  Well, that attitude is a crock of shit. 

Integrity popped into my head again with the recent accusations of Bill Cosby drugging and/or raping all of these women.  All of these women have been verbally attacked, even though some of these women have been claiming that Bill Cosby had sexually assaulted them for almost 20 years.  And, one of the most common accusations is that every last woman wants money, even though most of the women are not suing.  Right now, the only people that are making money are Bill Cosby’s lawyers who have been responding to all of these allegations as well as digging up as much dirt on these women as they can find and the media.  One of the accusers asked, "Who would want these 15 minutes of shame?", and she is right, who would.  The problem remains, that until now, Bill Cosby has had a great reputation and he was on his way to developing a great legacy.  And, that legacy would have been very valuable, especially to the African American community.  As an African American, the thought that he could have done this to all these women is hurtful and disappointing.  But,  as a woman, I would be wrong to automatically attack and question every woman’s statement and assume that each woman is out for Bill Cosby’s money. 

The other argument used is "Why would Cosby rape a woman, when he could have any woman he wanted?"  First, rape isn't about sex, it is about power.  But, let us say for a moment that it is about sex and entertain this question.  He could have any woman, really?  Could that be true?  So… any woman, no matter how rich, famous, married, straight, gay, single, young, middle-aged or old would say yes, if Bill Cosby asked them to "do the do", just because he is Bill Cosby.  I don’t think so.  Do some women leave their spouses or loved ones to sleep or be with celebrities?  Yes, but not all.  Women have integrity too.  Now, it may be true that Mr. Cosby would have a larger selection than most.  But, there is always someone, who will say "No!"  There is always someone who can’t be bought.

Now, let us step back into reality rape isn't about sex, it is about power.  And, someone who has sex repeatedly with people who are almost or completely unconscious has some really serious issues that should not be taken lightly.  And, I think that there needs to be some type of investigation.  I am not saying that every woman that claims she has been raped or sexually assaulted is truthful, people lie.  But I don’t think that the integrity of a woman who has stated that she has been raped or sexually assaulted should be immediately questioned either.    

#womenwithintegrity
#integrity
#BillCosby

15 Rules on How to Survive an Encounter with the Police

Based on recent events, here is what we have learned on how to handle encounters with 

the police.

How to Survive an Encounter with the Police

1.  Be Compliant.  Do not argue at all.  Do not challenge authority.

2.  Let the Police Officer(s) know, that you have no desire to die today.

3.  Show no signs of anger.  Do not attempt to escape.

4.  Be positive.

5.  Keep your dignity.

6.  When you are in public, always walk like you know where you are going.

7.  Avoid getting into political or ideological discussions.  For example, don’t make a 

     comment about the officer trying to make their quota.

8.  Be a good listener.  Follow instructions and ask if you are not sure about what you 

     are being told.

9.  Speak normally. DO NOT complain, avoid being belligerent and comply with all 

     orders and instructions.

10. If you are big, try to make yourself small by acting passive and not making any 

      sudden movements.

11. If caught in a situation or if the police believe that they have caught you in a 

      situation, DO NOT RUN. Drop to the floor and remain still. It that is not possible, 

      cross your arms, bow your head, and stand still.

12. Speak clearly, but try to keep your head down or look sideways.  Do not look directly 

      at the Police Officer(s), unless you are asked to, especially if you feel any anger.

13. Don’t show any sarcasm in your voice. 

14. When given the opportunity talk to them, humanize yourself; let them know if you 

      are parent, spouse or child.  Talk about your family, the school you attend or your 

      church.

15. Know your rights, but remain calm if they are violated.

#stayingalive
#Ican'tbreathe
#survive

It isn’t a Bandwagon anyone wants to be on….

Last night my former boss was on Facebook talking about what the GOP staffer had said about President Obama’s daughters.  He was saying that we need to complain and she needs to be fired.  I glanced; I thought that it was inappropriate.  But, I didn't say anything, nor did I respond to the post.  Sometimes, you just get numb.  There is always something.  Well, this morning, I turned on CNN after I finished my 6 am meeting, they were discussing the incident, and they read what the staffer had said about the girls.  For a brief moment, I was angry, and I posted my feelings on Facebook.  Here is what I posted:

“The Communication Director from Tennessee should be fired for what she said about the President's daughters. The apology was half-assed. But, I don't believe much will happen because they are two black girls. “

If you glance at the statement, you would think that comes from Trayvon Martin, or the Mike Brown incident, or all the other incidents that have occurred recently, and you know, I wish the hell it did.  But, it didn't.  It comes from life.  It comes from your parents telling you that you have value, but others are not going to see it.  And even though you shouldn't have to prove anything, you have to prove them wrong.  It comes from…

• Being 9 and getting a “C: in Science on your report card, and when you mother asks the Science teacher to show her your grades in her grade book, she doesn't have any.  You got a “C” because you looked average.  So, your mother comes home and tells you that you are going to learn how to outline.  Because you are going to outline your 4^th grade Science book for extra credit, so you won’t look average. ( I still had fun, because Ronaldo Turner also started outlining his Science book, so we would compete to see who completed the most chapters each week.  I guess that he looked average too. )

• Being a sophomore in high school and being told that besides writing about African American stories, Black people can’t write, by your English teacher.

• Being a senior in high school and your Spanish teacher tells your mother that you are not college material in front of you.  And then, the teacher tries to console your mother by saying “There –There maybe the next generation in your family will go to college.”, not realizing that your mother was skipping her graduate Math class to meet with her about her daughter. 

• Returning to your dorm after spending a weekend at home and having all of your belongings set out in the hallway of your college dorm, because your roommates decide that when they divide the triples, you are the one who should leave.  And, they want to make sure that you get the message.

• Having your manager giving your summer home address and phone to a local drug dealer in college without your knowledge or permission, and then apologizing after he finds out that you are a MSU college student, just like him.  I guess every young black girl not in college wants to date a guy with money, no matter how he gets it.

• Having someone who you thought was your friend tells you during a misunderstanding, “I could have had some guys come over and beat you up, but I didn't.”  And knowing that if you weren't Black, the offer would not have been made, and you would have never heard that statement. 

My point is that it comes from a lot of unnecessary crap.  I don’t tell you how each story ends, because it isn't necessary.  We can just jump ahead and say that I am survivor, not a victim.  And, when I was too young to fight, my mother and grandmother were there to fight for me.  For every story I have there are many Black women who have there own.  And we experience the same crap today.  However, sometimes, when we see it start all over on the next generation, we just get pissed off.  We have to say something.  Those girls were just standing there; they were dressed fine for a 13 and 16 year old.  Now you can say that the Communication Director was exercising free speech.  Well, I am exercising mine, now that she has resigned.  Good riddance!!  Don’t let the doorknob hit you, where the good Lord split you.

#unnecessarycrap

#survivor